think-a-lots part II

its already 9:59pm and i'm drinking coke light while doing this one..

another session of my "think-a-lots"....

struggling to think of ways on how to "act" or make "the moves" like others would say..yeah..i think it would be hard but it will take all the guts i have to do that on that day... i already consider it to be my last chance..pretty sure you're thinking "why? it's to early to say that.." well, think again...no offense to others but i'm not that "manhid" or something not to notice what's happening around me..i am that observant to everyone..especially to their moods and habits and records them to my mind..pretty like a cctv camera or something close to that...

i know something changed for the past few weeks of me being indecisive and stuff...all i can say is that i don't know what to do at all...i wanna do something but can't because as i said earlier..i am an indecisive person.....

i hate regrets...but i can say that as of the moment i am full of it...wasted so much precious time that may brought change to our stat...time to do something for her out of love....i have let so many opportunities passed by all because of this waiting for the proper time...if i just grabbed those opportunities, no one may tell what will happen...it maybe for the good and i've just picked a wrong turn...

i was skimming through her *insert website here* page..and read past convos and post...i know i'm becoming TH (tamang hinala as others coin it)... but what if? what if i am the one she wants to unlearn like jimmy bondoc said..what if she gave up and said can't do anything about it?...you'll be thinking like me if you're really in to that person... but a post always struck me when i visit her page.. "sometimes, people get only one chance and they blow it."... i always think about that every night...what if i have blown my chance on her?...

so now i'll gather all my guts to do what i must for that day..maybe, just maybe.. that would be my last chance... i can't tell if i have lost my chance already so i'll do my very best to get another chance..and i won't let my indecisiveness ruin that day..and if ever i am blessed with another..i won't let it slip away..i won't!

i am all like this..but i am a professional..

10:27 pm,, still drinking coke..3rd can.....