sunday / Think-a-lots part 18

2:31pm April 10, 2011 Sunday...

kahit nahiwa ng butcher knife eto parin ako nagttype sa blog na to..kahit na may sira ang balikat sige parin sa type...nagssoundtrip nalang para kahit papano mapagaan ung nararamdaman ko...yep nag-eemo ako ngayon bakit?...may kausap pa kong isang namomroblema eh...tumagaya nalang kaya kami?..tutal 3days straight na kong natagay...di naman ako tatagay kung walang prob diba?...salamat pala sa mga titong nagsponsor nung grad celeb ng tropa...

buti nalang kapag nagloload ako naka alltext ako..alam ko na kasi hindi naman sya magrereply eh..kahit itext ko pa sya..pano ko nalaman?..syempre nagrereply naman ako sa gm nya...and yet di sya nagrereply..kahit dun man lang makausap ko diba?....eh wala eh...i know its my fault kung bakit di kami nagkakausap pero ngayong nagttry ako kahit sa text man lang wala parin...nakakalungkot lang diba...tapos ang tagal pa ulit bago magkita kita..syempre OJT na tapos me nagbalita pa sakin na dormer na sila..so walang balikan ng cavite for the weeks to come except for weekends...ano pang magagawa ko nun?...mas mahirap lang pero ok lang....kaya pa..kaya pa....makulit ba?...pasensya ganito talaga ako..di ako sumusuko sa alam kong gustong gusto ko...

nagkaroon nga pala kami ng trip ni bhebhe rizza nung isang araaw..paemohan ng kanta..kasi nagrequest sya na magpost ng mga kanta sa wall nya...ayun nga..hanggang gabi ganun lang ginagawa namin..napurga na sa kaka-youtube eh..pero sabi na nga rin ni rizza..parang sakin dapat ung mga songs na un...ayoko nalang pansinin eh...basta sya ang nagrequest na magpost at hindi ako...

still the same...di parin nakakapag-usap pero walang magbabago sa nararamdaman ko...di pa din ako susuko eh...kasi pagsumuko ako alam ko ako din ang mahihirapan at manghihinayang eh....kaya go lang... 

Do't Think 

Parokya ni Edgar

Please, Don’t
Worry ‘bout how things might turn out
Let Go, let everything go.

Go, Run
Lose Yourself down an unknown path
Get lost, no matter what the cost

Don’t think time away
Before you know it
The show is ended
Don’t be scared to fall
Just as long as you remember
That nothing came to those who didn’t try.

Stop, Look
Listen the moment might just pass, This time
Lay it all on the line

Don’t quit, Don’t Lack
Give it all and everything
Cause There may never be another time
Cause There may never be another time

Don’t think time away
Before you know it
The show is ended
Don’t be scared to fall
Just as long as you remember
To get up off the ground and try again

Don’t think time away
Before you know it
The show is ended
Don’t be scared to fall
Just as long as you remember
That nothing came to those who didn’t try.
Those who didn’t try 

sana maakaabot to...siguradong mamimiss ko sya ng sobra...kahit makita ko lang sya for the day okay na ko eh..pero mukang matatagalan pa ulit bago mangyari un....hayyy... :(

short lang / think-a-lots part 17

11:21pm April 7 2010 Thursday......

di pa ko kumakain..oo nagluto na ko...para gumaan gaan naman tong nararamdaman ko...kinakabahan ako eh...katulad nung time sa station...ganun na naman kanina....ewan ko ba...andun na ung chance oh...pero wala padin...wala din akong magawa kanina kaya nagpatugtog nalang ako ng the script..bakit?..ganda ng kanta nila eh.....at tsaka nagcopy na din ako ng mga soundtrip ni jm sa mp3 ko...palitan lang kumbaga...

---to be deleted---

---deleted---

5:53pm April 8, 2011 Friday....

dapat sa ngayon wala na ko dito sa bahay kasi grad celebration ng HS Tropa..and hindi ako pwedeng mawala dun kasi gustong gusto nila akong makita hindi ko alam kung bakit...pero eto parin ako..edit ng blog...(yes nagedit lang ako...may mga binura ako na pinost ko lang talaga for one day dito sa part na to...) actually kahapon alam kong magsasabay kabi ni bii umuwi..kasi napagusapan na the night before..so ayun nga..di ko naman inexpect na tatagal kami ng hanggang gabi sa school...and nagulat din ako na nagstay sya sa school ng ganung oras..kasi maaga na sya laging umuwi...nanibago lang ako kasi nga tumagal sya ng mga past 6pm...and may OJT pa sila the next day..i don't know kung bakit pero hindi ko parin sya nagawang kausapin man lang..yes kinakabahan ako everytime na anjan sya kasi hindi ko talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko...falling in love again nga eh...twice the fun daw...twice the kaba...gusto ko na talaga sya kausapin nun pero para lang madivert ung kaba ko eh ginawa ko nalang ung paperworks ni JM...and konting O2 Jam (pampatanggal kaba..)..tapos nagpplay pa ung mga kanta ng The Script....ganda ng timing eh...

nagulat ako nung pagpunta nina bii sa kubo eh kasabay sya...yes she's bii's mom..pero may OJT diba?...pero ok na rin kahit papano kasi nakita ko sya for that day..hindi ko lang sure oh baka guniguni ko lang na nagsalita sya nung paalis na kami kasi nagpapagising ako kay Jm...basta...di ko maexplain ung nararamdaman ko eh.......

yes maganda pa rin sya..and yes lalo pa kong naiinlove...kasi wala naman akong ayaw sa kanya eh...ok lahat...madali kasi akong masanay kaya madali din akong manghinayang....baka kulang lang ako sa motivation para kumilos..kasi nauuna lagi kaba eh...walang tumutulak para makakilos ako....haii...........

eto ung song kung gusto nyo malaman......

If You Ever Come Back

The Script

If you're standing with your suitcase 
But you can't step on the train 
Everything's the way that you left it I still haven't slept yet 
 And if you're covering your face now 
But you just can't hide the pain 
Still setting two plates on the counter but eating without ya  
If the truth is you're a liar When you say that you're okay 
I'm sleeping on your side of the bed going out of my head now  
And if you're out there trying to move on 
But something pulls you back again 
I'm sitting here trying to persuade you like you're in the same room  

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder 
And I wish you could still give me a hard time
 And I wish I could still wish it was over 
But even if wishing is a waste of time  
Even if I never cross your mind 

 I'll leave the door on the latch  
If you ever come back, if you ever come back 
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat 
 If you ever come back 
There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on 
 And it will be just like you were never gone 
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat  
If you ever come back, if you ever come back now 
Oh if you ever come back, if you ever come back  

Now they say I'm wasting my time 
Cause you're never coming home 
But they used to say the world was flat but how wrong was that now  
And by leaving my door open  I'm risking everything I own 
There's nothing I can lose in the break in that you haven't taken 

 And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder
 And I wish you could still give me a hard time 
And I wish I could still wish it was over 
But even if wishing is a waste of time 
 Even if I never cross your mind 

 I'll leave the door on the latch  
If you ever come back, if you ever come back 
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat  
If you ever come back 
There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on  
And it will be just like you were never gone 
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat 
 If you ever come back, if you ever come back now
 Oh if you ever come back, if you ever come back  

If it's the fighting you remember or the little things you miss 
I know you're out there somewhere, so just remember this
 If it's the fighting you remember or the little things you miss 
 Oh just remember this, oh just remember this 

 I'll leave the door on the latch 
 If you ever come back, if you ever come back
 There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat 
 If you ever come back 
There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on 
 And it will be just like you were never gone 
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat  
If you ever come back, if you ever come back now
 Oh if you ever come back, if you ever come back now 

 And it will be just like you were never gone 
And it will be just like you were never gone 
And it will be just like you were never gone
 If you ever come back, if you ever come back now

yan ung song nung dumating sila....wala lang..pinost ko lang..haiii....

nagload nga pala ako para makapagtext (duh...) and yes, hindi sya nagrereply..so useless

din.......late na ko...di ko alam kung what time kasi ung celeb pero alam kong late na ko..

6:16pm.........

Taft Station / think-a-lots part 16

currently transferring files to my mp3...downloading song by batches..what else?...writing this blog...and plurking..and fb-ing.....still..nothing make me feel okay...

eto na siguro ung pangalawang day ng "pagluwas" namin sa manila to look for a practicum site..andami naming napuntahan and bagong experience sa paghahanap ng mga lugar na hindi kami familiar..di ko alam kung bakit hindi ako naliligaw kahit na hindi ko pa napupuntahan ung isang lugar...kahapon sobrang pagod kami nina rizza jm and ariel sa kakalakad..dasma to makati then kamuning then taft...tapos moa for dinner sa seaside...anong oras na din kami nakauwi... tapos ngayong araw na to naman dasma to makati ulit pero this time mas sinuyod na namin ang makati...hinanap din namin ung Arkeo for Rizza's practicum..tapos dumiretcho kaming The Fort para tignan ung Bates141 and the other Ad Agency (ung pinakamalaking ad agency sa bansa) balak pa sana namin na magpuntang DDB..kaso ginabi na kami kaya umuwi na kami agad...in that 2days of internship hunt ang dala ko lang is 200 per day...at nagsurvive ako..first day i still have 30 pesos left and kanina 60 pa...super tipid....

pero hindi talaga tungkol dito ung blog ko..oo nagenjoy ako sa mga pinaggagawa namin...pero what really made my day kahapon is ung nakasabay namin ung group nina X sa taft station...nagulat ako kasi hindi namin ineexpect na makakasabay sila and makikita ko sya nung araw na un...eto na naman ako, hindi ko sya nagawang kausapin kahit na gustong gusto ko...sobrang kinabahan ako...pero di ko pinahalata..first time kong kabahan ng ganun...its like falling in love with the same person twice..kahit na mahal mo padin...tapos parang panibago nanaman nung nakita ko sya dun...doble doble...it may sound corny  pero ganun talaga ung naramdaman ko...and naisip ko na pwede din pala akong kabahan ng ganun...pero sobrang nadown ako nung hindi ko sya nagawang kausapin..why? kasi hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko...kung papansinin ba nya ako o hindi...alam kong andami kong pagkukulang na gusto kong punan...siguro sa dami dami ng taong kilala ko isa na sya sa mga taong ayokong mawala sakin...why? mahirap maghanap ng kagaya nya..walang katulad at kapantay...

napag-isip isip ko ngayon na kahit gaano pa kahirap, gagawin ko lahat para lang di sya mawala...sabi nga nila don't give up on the things that you want..kaya hindi ako susuko...mahal ko eh...bakit ko susukuan?..oo sabihin na nating ilang linggo ko na rin syang hindi magawang kausapin..kaya nga gusto kong bumawi diba?...mabigyan lang ako ng pagkakataon talaga....hindi na ko magdadalawang isip pa....

inaantok na ko kasi 1am na oh...update ko nalang to.....pagod na rin ako sa kakabyahe........

im surprised...and at the same time nervous...its like falling in love with the same person...twice.. :)

hindi pa ko umaayaw....feeling's still the same...