When you got nothing to look forward to at the end of the day

"Good morning hon :* i love you :*"

"take care on your way to work"

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"Good night hon:* sweetest dreams and i love you :*"

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These were the sweetest everyday messages that I always receive from you. 

The messages that I am always waiting to get.

Random pm's while at work just to send some link on articles we both want to read.

Someone who always remind me to take care of myself. 

Who always message just to remind me to take my lunch for I am sometimes hard at work that I lose my sense of time.

Always calls me at the end of the shift just to tell stories of what transpired during work hours.

This is the only way to say what I feel.

I am thankful for you and for everything that you did for me. I forgot to tell you sometimes that I really appreciate the small things that you do. That I learn to be myself, and to change for the better not just for me, but for you and the others around me as well. What we have were really different from what I had experienced before. With you I felt that I can finally be myself, and I am so comfortable telling you things I would not normally tell my other friends nor my closest friends about. I always  felt overjoyed whenever you are around, turning gloomy days into the best days. 

Every date we had was memorable. You're the only one that tries to cheer me up when I'm feeling down. When I have problems, you're always there for me, rooting for me. I always look forward to the end of the day because that's the time that we'll be able to meet each other. That's the time that I'll be spending the time with you to destress, to have fun and of course, to appreciate you. I really appreciate you.

Whenever we attend mass together on Wednesdays, I always pray and say to myself "I'm the luckiest person in the world for having you by my side. I want to spend my lifetime with you and I won't regret any second of it. I thank you Lord, for letting us meet and be together like this.". I feel like I'm the luckiest guy to walk this land when I'm with you. Having met your sister and be close with her is unforgettable too because I somehow experienced what it feels like to have a little sis around. 

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(magtatagalog na ko sa part na to)

Hi hon, 

Kamusta ka na? sana inaalagaan mo ng maayos ang sarili mo. Eto ako pinipigilan ko lang sarili ko imessage ka kahit na alam ko na di na maganda pakiramdam mo. Pinipigilan ko magmessage sayo kasi alam ko na you need space para sa sarili mo. Nakita ko rin yung pagclear mo sa nicknames nating dalawa sa chat (medyo nasaktan ako dun) Sorry kasi naging ganito yung sitwasyon natin. Eto yung mga bagay na di ko masabi sayo thru text and sa fb and kahit ngayon di ko masabi sayo. Kasi nung mga oras na nagdidiskusyon tayo, hinahayaan kitang maglabas ng sama ng loob mo saakin. Alam ko galit ka, na naiinis ka sa akin. Tinanong mo kung bakit pa ko nagpunta doon at di ba ako makaintindi ng space. Gusto ko lang makita ka nun pero pinagtabuyan mo ko. Di ako nagalit sayo, naintindihan naman kita eh. Pero wala eh, nagalit ka. Sumakay kayo ng kapatid mo sa van pero di na ko sumabay sainyo kasi sabi mo ayaw mong makasabay ako kahit sa paguwi lang. Nakinig ako sayo. Tumawag ka pa nun para lang tanungin ako kung saan na ko pupunta at paano ako uuwi. Sinabi ko naman sayo kung ano gagawin ko and di ako sumuway sa sinabi ko sayo kasi ayoko rin na mag-alala ka. Opo alam ko mag-aalala ka eh kaya nga dumiretcho na ko ng uwi kaso nga lang sa kalagitnaan ng paglalakad ko, nadeadbatt yung smart ko kung saan ka nagtetext kaya di na ko nakareply agad. 

Alam ko sinabi mo na ayaw mo na ko makausap. pero kahit nagkaganito, gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na mahal na mahal kita. Nasaktan ako sa mga sinabi mo sakin habang naguusap tayo kinagabihan nun. pero ni isang beses di ko nagawang magalit sayo. Gusto kita intindihin kasi alam ko na nahihirapan ka. Sana man lang sinabihan mo ko na malaki na pala yung problem para nagawan natin ng solusyon, hindi breakup ang solusyon. Hindi ako nagagalit sayo. Nalulungkot ako. Sobra. Di ako nanghihinayang na minahal kita, nanghihinayang ako kasi ganito yung nangyari. Nagalit ako sa sarili ko. Nagalit ako kasi di ko man lang naramdaman o napansin na nahihirapan ka na, na may mga problema ka nang tinatago. Sorry kasi naging hovering na ko tulad ng sinabi mo, pero sana sinabihan mo ko. Yung transparency para sakin, iba na pala sayo, na nakakasakal na pala. Sorry kasi napakamanhid ko. Akala ko okay na okay tayo, yun pala tinatago mo lang yung mga problema. Sorry kasi hindi man lang kita natulungan sa problema natin, hindi mo lang problema yan eh, as couple natin yan haharapin dapat kasi ako yung concern mo sa problems, sakin nanggaling lahat. 

Habang ginagawa ko to hindi ko man lang magawang mainis or magalit sayo. Dahil na din siguro sa nirerespeto kita and nirerespeto ko yung mga binitiwan kong salita na di kita magagawang pagsalitaan ng masama. Di kasi ako ganun kung lumaban eh. Iniintindi parin kita at nag-aalala parin ako sayo. Alam mo yung tumatakbo sa isip ko ngayon? 

"Sana okay na pakiramdam mo."

"sana okay lang na magusap tayo"

Ikaw pa din yung iniisip ko. Mahal kita kaya kahit di tayo naguusap and ayaw mo ko kausapin, iniisip pa din kita. 

Kailangan mo ng time on your own and eto yung hinihingi mo sakin before and now, ibinibigay ko na sayo. Oo aaminin ko mahihirapan ako, pero para sayo kasi yan and you know na anything na makakatulong sayo na reasonable, ibibigay ko. Mahal pa rin kita eh. Di na magbabago yun. Kaya if naayos mo na yung problem on your own, andito lang ako naghihintay sayo..

This is a few lines from the song na dinedicate ko sayo few days ago. kanta ko to para sayo eh.

I could write a million songs to say how i feel,
'cause i felt it from you,
And you know that it's so real.
I'll dress it up to emphasize,
I'll tell the whole world that you're mine...

Oh, that you're mine,
And I hope you feel it too,
When I say that I need you...



I'm so proud na minahal kita and minahal mo ko.. and i miss you so much. mahal na mahal kita and not a day goes by na di kita naiisip....