I want to tell you about Her

It was a great day so to speak. But things get really sour when night came..
Its only by a form of miscommunication and misunderstanding that reverts everything into a night of crying..
But its not enough to let my feelings for her waver.


Let me tell you about her..

The first time I've known her was when we're at highschool. We're part of the same friendship group as to what we call here "tropa". At first I didn't paid much attention to her, giving out that she is part of our group. But when we reached near the end of highschool (4th year or around that time), I've begun giving her my attention (without her knowledge of course). It was a crush that turned into something more than that, and that time, well, she's my bestfriend's ex so to speak (thats the reason why i kept my feelings for her all this time and why I deny every course of positive interaction to her that would lead to something else that time). I literally did a good job hiding and denying it on the whole tropa. A friend (girl) asked me if there would be a chronological order of courting or liking them (the girls in the group), I said yes and told her an order (put the lovely her at the last). So yeah, I'm denying everything that would give them a clue that I like her. Bro Code literally just sucks and yes she said it herself before. anyways back to the story..

 Years passed and we both get into different relationship, I tried to take my time studying and whats not. Fast forward time, we get to have get-togethers with our highschool tropa (yeah we're close like that for 10 years now) and everytime the tropa meets, I take little glimpses of her from time to time without getting caught of course. I really appreciate seeing her everytime I get the chance. You could really say i am admiring her at a distance. I get so happy when i see her smile and i think to myself that it would be nice if I'm the one making her smile like that. When she laughs, same thing, I wish I were the one behind that laugh of hers. Everything about her is too perfect for me. She's not the totally mahinhin type of girl, she's strong, sometimes what they call "taklesa", she loves to laugh, she's witty and really nice person when you take your time knowing her. For that, I confirmed that i am truly in-love with this lady, with my tropa, with her and my love for her just keeps on growing and growing. But I stay hidden away, tuck within my self-built wall  of china.

Fast forward, I met a girl in college, spent my 2years with her and just ended up saying goodbye to each other. I instantly built up my walls again. But still, I can't shake the feeling that I have for "her" for all those years. For anyone else's sake, this point in story, she was in a relationship with a guy. Rapture party (2012) I think, well yeah, its really confirmed that I am in love with this lovely woman. all those years of hiding and masking it didn't do anything much to how I feel about her. I love how she laughs, her smiles, the way she do things. I'm okay seeing her like that so to speak, I don't even dare to step out of the boundary of friendship.

Near the end of 2013 (ber months), I met another girl, but it didn't last long. went back to my now fully built china. 2014 came and ended what I have with that girl (month of april). Around that time or a month after that, a trend in the group started. Movie couples or what they call tandems came about. So yeah, it was like just for fun pairing and I paired with her, Ramon Bautista (which is me) and Angel Locsin (her), made tandem in the film "One More 2nd Chance". it was fun actually, I begun texting her every day like non-stop. we talked and talked, goes to sleep at the same time. It was great so to speak. One day when she's at her training (Milo Marathon/Camp) she twisted her other good knee and she can't walk properly. I told her that she should call her guy to pick her up and to call her mom about what happened. After the call, I learned that it would take the guy no less than 2hrs to make it where we were that time, so I volunteered taking her home and she said okay. I assisted her walking back to her office to drop off some stuff, then proceeded to the van terminal to fetch a ride home. During the ride, she leans on me, which is normal I think. And then she kissed me on the cheek. I think its a way of saying thanks but hey, its something. I accompanied her home and I left soon afterwards.

Her dad came home a few days after and went somewhere along with "her" mom. She asked us to accompany her for overnight which we did (two of our female friends and me as the solo guy). We've watched some movies (i brought my hard drive) until we're all sleepy. I can't literally sleep on other houses, so yeah, stayed awake the whole time only catching a few naps every now and then. And then in the middle of the night, she kissed me. like literally kissed me. Thats when everything started to change. after a few days, she broke up with her long time guy (5years) with acceptable reasons for doing it. I was literally doubting myself cause i know i have a part for what happened between them, but she said they were long overdue and it was inevitable.

I believed in her and i started my journey with her, we had small fights, ups and downs, but we work things out. All these years i've waited for this, she was shocked when I told her that I do like her since way back. But I keep my words and yes, for all these years, my feelings for her never waned. I really do love her from the start. I don't want to end things with her at all. no plans for it. I'm looking forward to more adventures with her.

So to you, my baby, Nikki:

You're a  great person, you just don't see it but i do.

I fell for you not because of your looks (believe me when i say you're beautiful) but because of who you are.

You bring smiles to people around you without knowing it.

I'm proud of you in every way possible.

I accepted you fully, your bad side, your weird side, everything about you

I am thankful that i have met you, fallen in love with you

That i met one great lady that i love 

You're sweet, caring, clingy but i love it

I cherish every word you say to me,

Every story you share,

Every laugh you had with me,

All those times you expressed your appreciation towards me.

I am one lucky guy to have you

Thank you. I cannot thank you enough for everything.

You gave me more reason to live and strive harder in life.

I have my own faults, i'm a mess so to speak

I learn through every mistake i make in my life

I am a fixer, so give me a chance to patch things up.

I want to change for you and me

Be a better person all-in-all

It will get better and better i promise you

So all i want is for you to not give up on me.

I don't want us to end like this

I want you in my future life, as i told you before.

I won't be giving up on you

That's how much i love you

I will do the right thing and fix us
I'm sorry for everything, i cannot stress this enough

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes

For you to see how great and lovable person you truly are..