what to do.. what to do.... - phao coates [(-.-)] on Plurk

http://www.plurk.com/boyetnigurlie#

Thesis and think-a-lots part 3

as of now we are doing our thesis here in jm's place..thinking about what to do in our methodology..and random thoughts are running through my mind again as i type every bit of this blog..

this is i think part 3 of my blog of thoughts... yeah.. all i see is we're doing better.. in fact we are back to how we are.. i'm waiting for the best to come..
i thought i could see you yesterday to make my day the best day ever.. but yeah, i didn't see you even your shadow in the corner of my eyes.. still i'm grateful that i'm able to talk to you until 2am.. that almost made my day...
browsing through your pages (different sites) i've stumbled upon you're status... since i'm in no mood of typing it, i'll just copy paste...

"let's keep pretending and see how long we can last."

i don't wanna be a T.H regarding this stuffs but i can't help it. it was posted on her page in plurk.. maybe she's right that we're just pretending to be..but i know for myself that i don't pretend to love her or what.. i know that it is what i really feel, no pretentions and no questions asked..my closest friends knows about that alot.. could someone tell me that this is just a test or something else?..

i don't wanna focus on that one but that would make the whole of this blog..this is how i think about things...

its 4:53pm..still debating on how are we gonna select the sample size for our survey...

devcomm project making here in JM's place..along with jordan, boj, pritch, anthony and reg.. :)

think-a-lots part II

its already 9:59pm and i'm drinking coke light while doing this one..

another session of my "think-a-lots"....

struggling to think of ways on how to "act" or make "the moves" like others would say..yeah..i think it would be hard but it will take all the guts i have to do that on that day... i already consider it to be my last chance..pretty sure you're thinking "why? it's to early to say that.." well, think again...no offense to others but i'm not that "manhid" or something not to notice what's happening around me..i am that observant to everyone..especially to their moods and habits and records them to my mind..pretty like a cctv camera or something close to that...

i know something changed for the past few weeks of me being indecisive and stuff...all i can say is that i don't know what to do at all...i wanna do something but can't because as i said earlier..i am an indecisive person.....

i hate regrets...but i can say that as of the moment i am full of it...wasted so much precious time that may brought change to our stat...time to do something for her out of love....i have let so many opportunities passed by all because of this waiting for the proper time...if i just grabbed those opportunities, no one may tell what will happen...it maybe for the good and i've just picked a wrong turn...

i was skimming through her *insert website here* page..and read past convos and post...i know i'm becoming TH (tamang hinala as others coin it)... but what if? what if i am the one she wants to unlearn like jimmy bondoc said..what if she gave up and said can't do anything about it?...you'll be thinking like me if you're really in to that person... but a post always struck me when i visit her page.. "sometimes, people get only one chance and they blow it."... i always think about that every night...what if i have blown my chance on her?...

so now i'll gather all my guts to do what i must for that day..maybe, just maybe.. that would be my last chance... i can't tell if i have lost my chance already so i'll do my very best to get another chance..and i won't let my indecisiveness ruin that day..and if ever i am blessed with another..i won't let it slip away..i won't!

i am all like this..but i am a professional..

10:27 pm,, still drinking coke..3rd can.....

Exam blues and think-a-lots

exam week nanaman .. grabe.. one exam lang for this midterms.. pero ok na din kesa maraming exam diba..hirap kasi mag-aral kapag sabay sabay na ung lesson and subjects... goodluck sa may maraming exam...

anyways.. siguro ilang weeks na rin akong nag-iisip (syet nag-iisip ako..haha!).. i finally figured out na i've wasted so much time thinking about things and what to do.. waiting won't do me anything good.. i know i must act.. i need to make a move to stay.. something has changed in the past weeks and i'm totally aware of it.. i just can't do anything at all.. i don't know why.. i wanna do something that will pay-off the greatest for the lost weeks.. now i have a plan.. but i don't know if i can make it..or if "she"'s still open for the thing.. if i lost the chance already..i am wishing for another one this coming week... i'll make it up with "her"......

i just hope so.......

i won't fail this time........